DO:

• Listen to an angry person's account of why they are angry, even if you don't agree about the facts. When someone is exhibiting anger, it's not the best time to try to have a rational debate. Just concentrate on hearing them out.

• Try to see the situation from their point of view, and let them know you understand. Feeling misunderstood and disagreed with at the same time will keep their anger in place. If you let them know that you can see where they're coming from, you will go a long way toward helping them over their anger.

• Remove yourself from the situation if you see the person is getting out of control. Your personal safety is more important than being polite. When in doubt, clear out!

DON'TS :

• Don't tell the person to calm down or relax. Have you ever seen that work? It just makes them angrier, because it's clear you're not listening.

• Don't allow their anger to ignite yours. An angry person may say things that rile you in an effort to get you as angry as they are. Focus on understanding their feelings, not on what they say about you.

• Don't try to shame or ridicule them. It will only fan the flames of their anger (and justifiably so!).

• Don't attempt to engage them in a debate. They're not in the mood and you'll waste your time. Save the accuracy and the facts for a cool-headed discussion.

• Do NOT take on an unnaturally soothing, calm tone. This does nothing to soothe or calm an angry person. It simply makes them more aware that you don't understand them and are trying to manipulate them.

How to handle your own anger:

1. Take a time out.

2. Talk with a friend, relative, counselor or church member.

3. Splash water on your face.

4. Get away from the place of tension — if you cannot leave because you are watching children, walk into another room.

5. Walk around the block.

6. Write down your feelings, possibly in a diary or journal.

7. Take a deep breath.

8. Count to 10.

9. Exercise.

10. Do something constructive, such as gardening, reading or other hobbies.

DO:

• Listen to an angry person's account of why they are angry, even if you don't agree about the facts. When someone is exhibiting anger, it's not the best time to try to have a rational debate. Just concentrate on hearing them out.

• Try to see the situation from their point of view, and let them know you understand. Feeling misunderstood and disagreed with at the same time will keep their anger in place. If you let them know that you can see where they're coming from, you will go a long way toward helping them over their anger.

• Remove yourself from the situation if you see the person is getting out of control. Your personal safety is more important than being polite. When in doubt, clear out!

DON'TS :

• Don't tell the person to calm down or relax. Have you ever seen that work? It just makes them angrier, because it's clear you're not listening.

• Don't allow their anger to ignite yours. An angry person may say things that rile you in an effort to get you as angry as they are. Focus on understanding their feelings, not on what they say about you.

• Don't try to shame or ridicule them. It will only fan the flames of their anger (and justifiably so!).

• Don't attempt to engage them in a debate. They're not in the mood and you'll waste your time. Save the accuracy and the facts for a cool-headed discussion.

• Do NOT take on an unnaturally soothing, calm tone. This does nothing to soothe or calm an angry person. It simply makes them more aware that you don't understand them and are trying to manipulate them.

How to handle your own anger:

1. Take a time out.

2. Talk with a friend, relative, counselor or church member.

3. Splash water on your face.

4. Get away from the place of tension — if you cannot leave because you are watching children, walk into another room.

5. Walk around the block.

6. Write down your feelings, possibly in a diary or journal.

7. Take a deep breath.

8. Count to 10.

9. Exercise.

10. Do something constructive, such as gardening, reading or other hobbies.